THERAPY FOR COUPLES

Are you feeling disconnected or disillusioned?

Sometimes life takes a toll.

Things just aren’t the way they have been in the past. A couple starts out so close; by the time they have navigated careers and jobs and babies and life and changes, things just are different. More distant.

Maybe that spouse who used to be so amazing is just a little irritating. Maybe they are a LOT irritating.

Life can take us down some strange roads. We must be limber, able to move and flex with challenges that come our way. But that is not easy.

Transitions

Transitions can be tricky for couples. There are two people, plus the relationship between them, that are reacting to that new job or new baby or kids off to school for the first time, or kids graduating or moving off to college.

Misunderstandings happen, hearts get broken, and it can be hard to know how to put it all back together.

The stress of navigating transitions can show up front and center for couples, and unless those changes are worked through in a healthy way, problems can stay or get worse.

What Type of Therapy Do You Do?

There are two models of couples’ therapy that I believe to be most effective: Emotionally Focused Therapy and the Gottman Method.

Each is very well-respected by clinicians, under constant research scrutiny, and has been shown to be effective in creating change for couples. I use both methods with couples.

How Does Therapy Work?

You have a bond with your partner – and when that bond is damaged or threatened, a whole set of behaviors and emotions are set into play. Those can become lasting patterns that bog you down when you try to stay connected.

An important part of therapy is unpacking the patterns in the relationship that are not working, healing those damaged bonds and restructuring those patterns so that they work. That leads to a renewed closeness and a repair of the damaged connection between you.

What is each session like?

For the most part, I work with couples together in a session. I might see one or the other of you individually here and there, but the lion’s share of our work would be with both of you present.

Even if I am mostly working with one partner in a specific session, I find that the other partner often learns something or gains new understanding about their loved one by being present.

What can we expect from therapy?

You will be an active part of setting the goals you wish to reach. In general, though, we will work to reach the goals you set and to uncover entrenched patterns in the relationship that might have you stuck.

Our work will then involve looking at what is driving those patterns and reworking them, so they help you create the relationship you want.

Don’t Wait!

It is helpful to, well, get help!

Often, when you work through a problem before it gets huge, it is much, much easier to create the change you need. Sadly, the average couple waits seven years to seek therapy, once they realize there is a problem. Don’t be that couple. And if you have waited a long time, don’t let any more valuable time go by.

I work with partners and spouses to imagine a new outcome and bring it into being. So often, the things that drive us apart can be the things that pull us together if we know how to flip the script, to change the pattern.

Give me a call and let’s work together to create the marriage you are looking for.

*Not sure you are on the same page as your partner? If one of you wants to stay in the marriage and one is contemplating divorce, click here.